Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
