We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
