dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
