im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
