so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize