she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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