Apparently you make a good broom.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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