My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
