I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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