I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
