She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize