Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
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Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
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Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.