You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"