It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?