I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
