he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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