Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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