I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
