hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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