Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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