I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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