Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
