So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
