so let's talk penis.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
