Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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