quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.