Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.