it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.