Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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