Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.