I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
