Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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