your thong is hanging out like whoa
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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