think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
