Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
