No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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