No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize