i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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