You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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