woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
