garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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