I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
