yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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