i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
