why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
