Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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