i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
no you cant smoke seaweed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize