farters have to be the big spoon...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
