I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
