I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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