My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
