Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
