now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize