so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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