i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
