Kareoke will never be a sober sport
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
