Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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