More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
