you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
