she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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