My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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