my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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