"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.