Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.