i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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